My Life My Rules My Journey My Pain
by BloodStainedSoul
Summary: This is my story. My own real life fairytale. Nothing you can do can change who I am, and nothing you can say can hurt me. Not anymore. It's too late.
1. The Park

I'm the one "person" that knows what you're going to do before you do it. No, I can't read your mind, and no (laughs gently), I don't see the future.

I don't really know how to explain it to you. It's not a power. No, I'll get to that later. It's just . . . exceptionally good senses . . . even for someone like me. I guess you could say it has to do with your muscles. I know it sounds strange, and out there, and you probably think that I'm some freak who is just trying to mess with your head, but I can tell when you are going hit me, hit someone else, or when you want to bolt and run until you get as far away as you can, but I don't know why you want to do those things. Even if you make no sound I know where you are if your muscles tense, or if you blink.

No movement you can make can surprise me, but it does get annoying. Like now, as I'm sitting on the edge of a fountain, in the middle of this beautiful park. The idiot that sat next to me a few minutes ago is flexing, trying to get me to look at him. He's clenching his jaw trying to make me talk first, but it's not going to work and soon he'll get up and walk to the other side of the park where all of the easier girls are sitting drooling over him and his idiot friends that he left over by the tree line, but none of them guys are looking at those girls. No, they're all looking at me.

You see when I was changed I was fifteen years old. But that was always a problem because I didn't look it. Even though I was short, none of the people I met ever knew how old I was. They all thought that I was seventeen or eighteen. Then after I was changed I looked kind of different you know. So that makes me look older too. I ask my friends and they say that I can be anywhere from seventeen to twenty-one. So now I hover in between ages.

As you all know (or very desperately want to believe) vampires are real, and I am one of a kind. My human family and closest friends know.

Ok, well, they don't know that I'm a vampire, but they do know about some of the strength, and some of the speed, and all about the fact that no matter how many years go by, I will never change.

You may never truly understand what I was thinking when I came back to my family after being changed, but I want to try to explain, and to do that I have to tell you the whole story.

Before I launch into my story there are four things that you should know.

ONE: The names in this story will be changed. Not that you could hurt them if you knew their real names.

TWO: When I say 'mom' or 'mother' I'm talking about my step-mom. No, my real mother isn't dead but I never call her mom. I will always call her by her name.

THREE: I have to warn you that there will be a lot of pain in this story, and not all of my friends are saints.

FOUR: I don't like all of my family.


	2. That Night

- Five years earlier -

- Early Saturday morning -

I groan and rollover to look at the clock. It's 2:00am. Laura wants me to be asleep by 12:00. She thinks that by going to sleep earlier, I will wake up sooner. Yeah, not the case. You see, even though school starts Monday I still think its summer, and during that time I'm usually at one of favorite places in the world, kicking back on the porch swing, or jumping into the river, and always getting ten to twelve hours of sleep.

Well I'm not there but I still sleep a lot. Laura only cares about what she wants. She doesn't see what being away from my dad does to me. She doesn't know that I need him more than I'll ever need her. She doesn't know that while I lie in bed trying to go to sleep, its him I want to hold me and hum me to sleep like he used to do. You see, I haven't seen him in three years. The last time I saw him I was twelve and I'm fifteen now.

I still keep in touch with all of my friends there but it keeps getting harder and harder.

And with that a silent tear runs down my cheek. Soon that one tear is followed by many others. It's almost like there's a river running down my face. I'm trying to keep the sobs locked up in my chest, and the whispers of what I really want locked in my throat. But I fail as my mouth opens to let out a loan sob all of the whispers come with it.

- An hour later -

My bed is shaking from the sobs that are breaking from my chest and I'm still whispering the same words that I have been. It hasn't stopped. It hasn't gotten slower.

"I miss you daddy."

- sob -

"I want to be home with you."

- sob -

"I want you to hold me."

As soon as I say those words I break down again, no longer able to form words. When I get some control I look around my room and for the first time I notice a figure standing near the TV. It doesn't scare me. I can tell that it's a guy by the way he is built. I don't know how he got in here my door is shut and the window is blocked. I don't know why he is here, but I wouldn't mind if he was here to kill me. He is looking at me as if he was trying to figure out why I was crying. I decided to help him out.

"I miss my father. H- He lives in another state."

"I can help you with that." His voice was as sweet as honey.

I decided that if this guy was going to kill me that I didn't want to be looking up at him when he did. I wanted him to be lying beside me. So I sat up and he froze. I stopped but realized that I had just surprised him. I moved to get off my bed very slowly, and then walked up to him.

"Come lay down with me."

He didn't move an inch.

"Please come hold me."

He nodded stiffly but still didn't move. I rolled my eyes and walked back to my bed. I lay down in the middle so he would have room to lie down. I was laying with my back to him so I didn't see him walk up, but I did feel the pressure on the edge of the bed when he lay down. He didn't touch me and I wanted to move closer to him but I didn't want to surprise him again.

"I'm going to move closer to you now."

"Ok." Came the voice from behind me.

I moved backwards until I hit his chest. He was cold but I didn't care, I snuggled closer to him. When I quit moving he slid his arm around me and for some reason, I felt safe. I was lying in bed with a stranger and I felt safe.


	3. Leaving

He was still lying with me. He hadn't moved and it been about half an hour. The only time he moves is when I start to cry again, and he holds me tighter then.

I still don't understand what he meant when he said that he could help me. He didn't talk so neither did I. I was afraid too. I wasn't afraid of him; I just didn't want to wake up. He felt so real that I could almost believe that I was awake but I've had dreams like this before. Dreams that had felt so real that I believed that they were and as soon as I did I woke up and I didn't want to wake up, not from this dream. But eventually he started to sit up. He moved to the end of my bed and sat facing me.

"Do you want my help?" He was talking so low I almost missed it.

"With what?"

"I can take you to your dad."

"Oh." I squeaked. I didn't normally squeak but he had caught me off guard. "If I turn on the light will you still be here."

"Of course, but you might not like what you see." I didn't understand what he meant.

I reached for the light but I kept my eyes on him. As a result I fell out of my bed. I was fully prepared to meet my carpet, make introductions and everything, but I never hit the ground.

It took me a minute to realize that there were hands around my waist. I looked up and the guy was standing beside me holding me up like I was lighter than a feather. He was staring down at me, and I started blushing. He chuckled quietly and in the blink of an eye, sat me back on my bed, turned on the light, and was sitting back on the edge of my bed like he had never moved at all.

I turned to face him and crossed my legs under me. There for a minute I thought that I had missed something. I sat there looking at him and then looking back at the light switch. Finally, I looked down at my lap and just shook my head and figured that I didn't want to know, and suddenly I realized that I had never _really_ looked at him.

I tried to be sneaky about looking at him but I took one look at his face and I couldn't look away. I was staring but I didn't care. I had heard that there were beautiful people in this world, but I had never thought anything of it, and now one of them was sitting on my bed.

He had shaggy blonde hair that made me want to run my fingers threw it, just to see if it was as soft as it looked, and it was so golden that I was convinced that if I held my necklace up to his hair, it would match perfectly. His nose was perfectly straight just like the rest of his face but his eyes were closed.

"Why are your eyes closed?"

He sighed but slowly opened them. His eyes were pitch black.

"I didn't want to scare you."

"Why would your eyes scare me?"

"Because my eyes are black now."

I still didn't get it. He said that they were black now. That meant that they were a different color before, and I didn't understand how his eyes changing colors should scare me, but I knew deep down somewhere it should.

"Why are they black now?"

"Because I'm thirsty."

"I can get you something to drink out of the fridge if you like."

He chuckled again but he suddenly got really serious.

"I don't drink what you have in the fridge."

I wondered if he even knew what drinks I had in the fridge.

"Well, what do you drink then?"

"Promise me that if I tell you, you won't scream."

"I promise."

"If you want me to leave after I answer your question just tell me to leave and I will go. I won't hurt you, I promise. I'll just leave and you'll never see me again."

I nodded my head and my eyes narrowed.

"What do you drink?"

"I drink . . . blood."

Every voice in my head was screaming for me to run but I couldn't move. I wasn't frozen but I didn't _want_ to move. He was watching me very carefully now. Waiting for me to scream, I guess. I don't know, but whatever he was looking for, he didn't find because his eyes got wider.

"Blood?"

"You're not screaming."

"I promised."

"But you didn't tell me to go either."

I shrugged.

"You don't even look scared."

"Maybe I'm not."

"You should be."

His voice got very menacing and his eyes got darker.

"Why? 'Cause you drink blood?"

"Yes and because I'm not human."

"What kind of blood do you drink?"

"Human, animal it doesn't matter to me."

I thought about what he had told me and I started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" He growled.

I slowed my laughter down and tried to tell him in between giggles.

"If . . . I didn't know any better . . . I'd think that . . . you were trying to . . . tell me that you were a . . ."

I broke down in giggles again.

"A what?" He snapped.

The way he said that made all of my giggles stop.

"A what?" He demanded.

"A vampire."

His eyes got wide, and it looked like I had just cracked the Divinci Code or something. He didn't move he just sat there staring at me.

"Wait. Are you a vampire?"

"I expected to have to tell you. I didn't think that you would guess it, but yes, I am a vampire."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

He was still staring at me, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Are you going to kill me?"

I put my hands on either side of my face, widen my eyes and dropped my jaw like I was terrified. Then, I rolled my eyes and put my hands back in my lap. He laughed.

"No, I told you that I wasn't going to hurt you, and I was actually waiting for you to scream, or run, or do a combination of both."

I rolled my eyes again.

"Thanks. So how does the vampire thing work?"

"You get changed and well, almost everything that's in books about us is wrong.

"Can you go out during the day?"

"Yes, I can go out during the day."

"It doesn't hurt you?"

"No it doesn't hurt me, but I do sparkle."

"Coffins?"

"Nope."

"Wooden stakes?"

"Wouldn't work. We're hard as stone."

"Burning?"

"Yes. That can kill us."

"Your eyes change colors?"

"It really depends on what I feed off of. If I drink animals my eyes turn topaz but if I drink from a human they turn red. If I go for awhile without feeding then they slowly get black."

"So you don't have to 'eat' every day then?"

"No."

"Earlier when you saved me, and then turned on the light, and sat down really fast. How did you do that?"

"We're all really fast and really strong."

"Do you change? Like get older?"

"No. I will always look exactly like this."

We sat there for a few minutes and I studied everything about him. The lines on his face, the curves on his neck, and the muscles in his arms and I decided that I really wanted to know how he was going to help me.

"How are you going to help me?"

"Well first, I wanted to change you, then we could go to your father and see him." It all came out in rush that I nearly missed the first part.

"You want to change me?"

He nodded slowly, not meeting my eyes.

"To make me a vampire? To make me like you?"

He nodded again.

"Won't I want to kill my dad?"

"You can learn control." He looked up and met my eyes.

"How long will that take?"

"A few months should be long enough as long as you don't go in a building or anything. It gets easier with time."

"Is this hard now?"

"It used to be."

"How long does it take?" He knew that I wasn't asking about the control this time.

"Three days." There was something about the way he said that, and I realized what it was. I looked down at my lap.

"Does it hurt?" I asked my voice was barley a whisper.

"Yes, all three days are like hell." He voice was just as loud as mine. He was waiting for me to scream again, so I straightened my back and looked him in the eye.

"If that's what it takes to be with my dad then fine, I'll take three days in hell." He looked kind of surprised.

"Do you want to leave tonight or tomorrow?"

I looked over at the clock and it was only two thirty.

"Tonight."

He nodded. "You need to pack."

"Before we leave there are a few places I need to go . . . a few people I need to tell good-bye."

He nodded again and I got up and grabbed my school backpack.

"What will I need?"

"Clothes and a few things that you want to take with you to keep. You can leave them at your dads when you learn control."

"Ok."

I turned away from him to go to my closet then I remembered that his eyes were black that meant that he was thirsty. I couldn't take a hungry vampire to my friends' houses. I turned back to face him.

"You're thirsty right."

"Yes."

"Well, while I'm packing you go eat or whatever it is you do. I can't take you to my friends' houses while you're thirsty."

He got off the bed and walked slowly towards me with his arms open. When he got to me he hugged me.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes." He whispered in my ear and then with just a gust of wind he was gone. I still didn't know how he got out of my room but I shook head and started packing, but first things first, I needed to get dressed.

I walked into my closet and slipped on my favorite pair of faded jeans and then slipped on my blue American Eagle shirt. Then, I walked over to my dresser and put on some socks and my Nikes.

I grabbed my backpack and went back into my closet. I didn't really know what I would be doing in between now and the next time I got to get clothes so I grabbed some of everything. I put my new blue strapless and two of black dresses in there (I would deal with wrinkles later), I grabbed my new heels and my both of my pairs of boots (heels and cowboy, just in case), my new dark wash jeans and three other pairs that I liked, three mini skirts, a pair of black leggings, my black and silver jacket and my scarf (you never know), my gray Aeropostale shirt, and then I just filled the rest of the bag with shirts that would match what I had already put in there.

I put that bag on my bed and grabbed both of my purses. I put the smaller one in the bigger one and then put all of my makeup, perfumes, body sprays, hair ties, my Ipod my CD's, my phone and my stash of money in it then I laid it on my bed by the back pack.

Last but not least I grabbed my Roca Wear string bag to put all of my keep sakes in. First I went to my stand up jewelry box and threw everything that was in there in my bag. Earrings, bracelets, necklaces, rings, anklets all jumbled together in the bottom of my bag. I was really going to regret that later. I pulled my favorite strands of Marti Gra beads of my wall and put them in there. I put my Dallas Cowboys hat in there, and my favorite stuffed animal. I got in the box on my dresser and put the only jewel I own, that isn't in a ring or necklace, in the bag. I closed the bag and set it on my bed.

I went to the end of my bed to get my cowboy hat and I set it on top of my bags. I still had time so I decided to straighten my hair.

I was wrapping up my straightener when he 'appeared' in my room. His eyes were topaz.

"Are you ready?"

I put my straightener in my purse. "Almost." I got up and walked to my dresser picked up my sunglasses and sat them on top of my head. "Now I'm ready."

He picked up my bags. "Stay here for a minute."

"Ok." I picked up my cowboy hat and took off my sunglasses. I put my hat on and then put my sunglasses on top of it. He was back before I was done.

"What did you do?"

"I put your bags out on the driveway so I can carry you out."

"I can walk." I pouted.

He grinned. "But you're so loud."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but I have see my dog first."

"No problem I was going out the back anyways." He flashed me a smile and then scooped me up, I blinked then we were in the back yard. I walked over to Lola and hugged her and kissed her and told her goodbye then I walked back over to . . . to . . . I didn't know his name. When I got to him he scooped me up suddenly I was standing by my bags.

"Can you take them over to Savannahs and leave them by the fence? I want to walk across the field one last time."

"Hold on. I'll be back."

"You don't have t-"

He wasn't gone two seconds and he was back, standing right beside me. I grabbed his hand and started to walk across the field. He didn't pull away and he didn't seem to mind going at such a slow pace either. It was very peaceful.

We got to her fence and I saw my bags.

"We have to jump the fence."

"Hold on."

Before I knew it he threw me into the air over the fence and then caught me in a cradle on the other side. He sat me down on my feet and took my hand and we walked up to Vannah's window. The light was on and there was music on so I was sure she was up. I went to knock on the window but I stopped and pulled my hand back.

"She might want to come to."

He shrugged. "If it makes you happy, she can come."

I looked up at him.

"What do I call you?"

"Kaleb. What can I call you?"

I smiled. "Vivi. You can call me Vivi."

I reached up and knocked on the window.


	4. Savannah

I didn't think that she heard me so I knocked again and this time the music went off. She didn't come to the window though, so I knocked _again_. She was taking so long that I would have yelled, but her parents were just down the hall. Finally, I heard her walking towards the window.

"Who is it?" She sounded really scared. I turned to look at Kaleb but he was already stepping backwards into the shadows. I shook my head, wondering how he did that, then turned back towards the window.

"It's me stupid."

"Vivi?"

"Yeah. Now open the window and let me in."

Slowly she pulled up the blinds and once she saw that it really was me she threw open the window and helped me try to scramble into her room. I felt a hand under my foot and I pushed off of it. Me and Vannah went rolling into her bed because I pushed to hard. I could have sworn that I heard Kaleb laughing outside. Vannah pushed me off her and helped me get up and sit on the bed.

"What are you doing here, Vivi?"

"I promised that if I left that I would come tell you first."

"If you're leaving then I'm going too." She got off of the bed and started to get ready to leave.

"You can't. At least not yet." She stopped and looked back at me.

"What do you mean?"

I got up and went to stand a few feet away from the window. I turned around so I was facing her again.

"I want to be sure that I can do this before I put you through it."

"Put me through what?"

"Vannah, I want you to meet Kaleb." Almost instantly I felt cool arms wrap around my waist and a cheek against mine. I saw Vannah's eyes get wide before I turned to face Kaleb. "Can I tell her?" He closed his eyes and leaned down so his face was in my hair.

"If you wish."

"Put me through what Vivi?" She demanded, and I turned back to face her.

"You have to listen to me, ok?"

She nodded her head.

"Kaleb is taking me to my dads." She opened her mouth and I held up my hand to keep her from talking. "But he wants something from me in return." Her eyes widen and she looked up at him, and she just stared, seeing him for the first time. "He's a vampire." Her eyes snapped back to me

"She doesn't believe you." Came a sweet voice in my ear.

My eyes never left hers. "Yes, she does." I could see her thinking about what I told her. About how I didn't lie to her, and how if I did I could never keep staring her straight in the eye.

"What does he want?" Her voice was almost inaudible.

"He wants to make me like him."

"Then why can't I come?" She growled.

"Because it will hurt, and I don't know what will happen, and because if this ends badly I don't want you to end up like me."

"Vivi-"

"Savannah please for me. Stay. I need you to tell Tori and Seth that I'll be back to see them no matter what. Tell Tessa and Candy that I'll miss them. If people ask about me at school tell them good-bye for me, and that if I'm able, I'll be at the Christmas dance to see them. Besides if your going to come with us later on you won't have anyone to tell people good-bye for you so you'll need to do that before you leave." She nodded but didn't say anything. I walked forward and hugged her. "I'll miss you."

"How will I get a hold of you?"

"I guess I'll have to get a ph-" I cut of my sentence because Kaleb was holding a red razor in front of my face. I looked at him. He shrugged.

"We don't need two phones. I don't use it anyways."

"Thanks." He shrugged again. I called the voicemail and told Vannah the number. She put it in her phone but she didn't put a name. I hugged her again and walked back over to the window. "Only call when you're absolutely alone, but if Tori or Seth want to talk to me call me off yours and warn me, then just let them use your phone cause I don't want this number all over school."

"K, Vivi."

"Oh and don't call me first. I'll call you, let it ring three times, then hang up. After that it's ok to call me anytime."

"Ok."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Kaleb had already jumped out the window so I slipped out to. I heard Vannah shut her window but I knew that she wouldn't put down the blinds until we were out of sight.

Kaleb pulled me up in his arms and jumped the fence. When we landed on the other side he sat me down and picked up my bags and we started to walk.


	5. Tyler and Patrick

We hadn't gone two steps when he grabbed my arm and steered me to the middle of the field. He stopped and put my bags down.

"Look up."

I didn't know why he would say something like that but I did. The moon was full and the field was lit up. It was beautiful.

I was so absorbed that I didn't realize that someone was coming until it was too late. I could tell that Kaleb knew because he was tense and was already looking at them. I grabbed his hand.

I don't think that the kids that were coming knew that we were out here because they were lighting Black Cats and throwing them at each was only two of them.

They seemed familiar but I couldn't see good enough to know who they were until they were about twenty feet from us.

"It's ok. It's only Tyler and Patrick. They live down the road. They won't hurt us."

Just as I said that they looked up at us and a Black Cat blew-up right beside me. It surprised me and I yelped and jumped. Kaleb caught me, and I hid my face in his shoulder. He looked down at me then started glaring at them. I could hear them jogging up to us.

"Hey, sorry man. We thought that we were the only ones out here." Patrick said kind of breathless.

"Well maybe you should check next time." Kaleb snapped at him.

"Look he said we were sorry you don't have to talk to him like that." Tyler jumped in.

Kaleb started to open his mouth to say something to Tyler and I knew that I might regret this but I didn't think that putting a hand over his mouth was going to work. So, I reached up and kissed him. I didn't think he was going to respond but after a few seconds he started to kiss me back. His lips were cold and hard against mine. At first it was a slow kiss then it got more urgent. I felt my arms slip around his shoulders and slide through his hair. He sat me on the ground and I thought that he was going to break it off but he just wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

I didn't want it to end, but soon he pulled away and looked over my shoulder. I remembered that we weren't alone. I was still gasping for air when he looked back at me. He chuckled but got serious. He leaned down to wear his lips were at my ear but he could still see the people behind me.

"Why did you do that?" He demanded quietly.

"Because I felt like I had to shut you up. I didn't want you to fight with them. No matter how much I don't like them."

"I could have killed you."

"But you didn't, and you won't have to worry about it for much longer."

"True." He was still staring over my shoulder.

"Did you like it?" I asked as an after thought.

"More than I should have." I smiled to myself.

I turned around, leaned back against his chest, bent my head down, and let my hair fall down to cover my face. I felt his arms come around my waist.

They were only about five feet from us. Tyler stepped forward and looked me up and down.

"Hey, baby doll. Why don't you come over here and kiss me like that. I won't pull away."

I heard a growl come from deep in Kaleb's chest.

"You wish." I hissed.

"Vivi?" Patrick asked confused.

Kaleb growled again.

I looked up and shook the hair out of face. They both looked shocked. They looked from me, to Kaleb, to me.

"Why aren't you in your house?"

"Who is he?"

"Why is he out here with you?"

"Why did you kiss him?"

I rolled my eyes, and tried to sort out the questions. They came out in a rush. It didn't take to long.

"Ok. One, I'm leaving, two, my boyfriend, three; I'm leaving with him, and four, because I can. Does that cover it?"

They both nodded.

"Good."

"We need to leave soon." Kaleb said bending down to get my bags. I ducked my head realizing that I had said he was my boyfriend.

"Ok." I looked at Tyler and Patrick. "Gotta go. Bye boys." I waved and turned and took Kaleb's free hand and we walked off down the road headed towards the highway.

When they were out of sight Kaleb looked over at me. I ducked my head again. We walked for awhile before he looked over at me again.

"So . . . I'm your boyfriend?"

"If you want I mean it just kinda of came out." I looked up to meet his eyes.

"What does that entail?"

"Holding hands, kissing, a few other things. Anything you want."

He smiled, leaned down, and kissed me gently on the lips.

"I like the sound of that." He whispered.

His lips came crashing back down on mine. It wasn't as long as the first one but I was still breathless when he pulled away with an odd look in his eyes. Excited? There might have been a little evil glint there for a minute. I didn't know but his next words explained it all.

"How do you feel about stealing a car?"


	6. The Car

"Stealing a car?" My face must have looked really funny because he started laughing at me. I just glared up at him.

Finally, he quit and held up his hands in surrender. He looked down at me.

"I'm sorry."

I crossed my arms but grudgingly forgave him.

"So why do we have to steal a car?"

"Well, we have four choices."

"Which are?" I nodded.

"One, we could go buy one, but it's about four in the morning."

"Yeah." I looked away from him, embarrassed.

"Two, I could pick you up and run, but I can't carry you and your bags."

I nodded.

"Three, we walk, but I think that you want to get to your dads faster than that."

I looked down the dark road, looked back at him and decided that I didn't want to walk.

"Or, four, I can steal a car, and get as far as we can until later, then ditch the stolen one and buy a new one."

"Ok, um, I like the fourth one."

He smiled. "Yeah, me too. Stay here and I'll go get a car." He turned away and started to take a step.

"Um, Kaleb?"

"Yeah?" He turned back to face me.

"When we buy a car, can we get a Corvette?"

He smiled. "Sure. Stay here I'll be right back." With that he disappeared.

I sat down on my backpack and looked around. It was dark, but your could see it getting a little brighter over the edge of the trees.

After a few minutes, I started to wonder where he was going to change me, and how he was going to do that. I tried to decide if I wanted to see my dad before or after I was changed.

After. It would give me something to work for. Sure I wanted to see my dad, but if I did it this way, I wouldn't see him, then get changed, then have to learn control. Plus if I saw him then left again it would kill him, again. I couldn't do that to him. I didn't even want to hurt him the first time. But how could I tell him that I was ok without seeing him.

My mom! I could send her notes or I could follow her to the store and give her updates there, and she could tell him. If I'm as quiet as Kaleb is I can watch them sometimes too. At least until I was in control and I was sure that I wouldn't kill him. Yeah, I can do that. She can give me notes from him too. Or face to face messages when it's safer. But for the first month or so I need a place to leave them for her. That way I can be sure she will stay safe, but where can she leave them? Not a mailbox. With someone? No, to risky. Under the bridge? No, kids go down there to swim all the time, one of them could find it. In a notebook? Yeah! I could get a spiral and leave it in the drivers' seat of her car or, better yet, just somewhere on the porch where she would see it. I could tell her that I was fine and that if she needed to tell me something from her or from dad that she could write it down and leave it on the porch. Yeah I can do that. Leave the spiral, then pick it back up when she puts it back outside. Good. I got that figured out. Now, what do I do about the dance.

I have five months until Savannah expects me to come back for that dance. By then I have to be in control. Complete control. I will not slip up and kill someone I know.

I will not kill anyone. I will eat strictly animal. No humans. At all. Kaleb would help me. I know he would.

Suddenly a car pulls up in front of me and I stood up. Speak of the devil, Kaleb already has the trunk popped, my bags in his hands, and is standing beside me before I can even tell what kind of car it is. He walks to the trunk, puts my bags in it, shuts it, and turns to look at me with a smile on his face.

"Did you miss me?"

"Nope, but I was beginning to wonder if you had left me." He started to pout. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I missed you." He rushed forward and scooped me up in a hug.

"I knew it. Do you like the car?"

I looked at the car. It was a dark blue Mustang GT. I almost flipped. I loved these cars. Up until recently I had wanted one, then changed to a Corvette. I looked back at him suspiciously.

"Was there some special reason you got this car? Or was it just convenience?"

"Well it was mostly because you kept talking about how much you wanted one before you switched to a Corvette, and I thought that since we were going to buy one of those tomorrow, that you should have a Mustang for awhile too." His smile got even bigger and I knew that he had been to my house before but I would ask about that later.

"I can't believe that you got the right color and everything."

"That's what took me so long. I almost gave up but just as I was about to get a car I saw this one sitting in the driveway next door."

I threw my arms around him and pecked him on the check. "Thanks."

I went back to admiring the car.

"You know . . ."

I turned back to him.

"What?"

"You can drive if you want."

"Really?"

"Sure, you're a good driver."

There it was again. Knowledge that he shouldn't know, but I decided that I would drive anyways. It would give me something to concentrate on when I asked him about it.

"I'll drive then." I walked around to the drivers' side and got in. He was already sitting down with the door shut. I rolled my eyes and put it gear. I gunned it and we went flying. I loved the feeling of power as I watch the trees fly by. When I hit the highway I didn't slow down I just looked for the sign that said how far to Little Rock, Arkansas. That's the first check point on the way to my dads. It's not a check point really, just one of the towns on the way that I remember.

After a good half hour I decided it was time to talk.

"How did you know about the car?" I asked in a low voice.

"I . . . I've been watching you."

"For how long." I kept my eyes on the road and I kept my face blank. I could feel his eyes on my face gauging my reaction.

"A few months off and on."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. I just felt drawn to you. Like I was supposed to do something. Help you, I guess. I tried to leave, once, but I ended up back by your house."

"When did you decide to help me?"

"Tonight."

"Why?"

"At first I saw that there was something wrong but I thought that if I didn't do anything that it would get better without me. I kept watching but it only got worse, and last night was almost unbearable. I decided that I was going to fix your problem."

"When did you watch me?"

"Mostly during the day while you were with Savannah, but a few times I sat on the end of your bed and watched you sleep."

I nodded.

"Does that not bother you? Knowing that a vampire watched you sleep?" He demanded.

"No. For a year now I've been ready to die, so it doesn't scare me, I'm used to people watching me, so it doesn't bug me, and oddly enough I think that I knew you were there the whole time."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because there were days when I was just ready to give up, but I dragged myself out of the gutter because I thought that someone, somewhere, was laughing at my weakness. Because there were some nights when I felt safe and I slept better. You were there those nights, weren't you?"

"Yes. When I was there you didn't turn over so much and you didn't kick at all."

I decided that it time to get to the heavier stuff.

"When are you going to change me?"

"Whenever you want." His voice got low.

"Where?"

"I don't know."

"Can you change me by the river. It comforts me."

"Once you start the change you won't care where you are."

"I'm different. I could be blind and deaf and still know when I was by the river."

He chuckled darkly. "Ok."


	7. New Deal

I drove in silence for a long time. It was getting brighter and brighter outside but the trees were keeping the car in the shadows. Clouds were coming in and it was going to rain. Not bad, but just enough to cover up the sun. I glanced at the clock and it said that it was ten o'clock.

"We should start looking for a dealership soon."

"I've been looking for one since nine."

"Oh. We're fixing to get to a big city. They might have one there."

"Ok."

He sounded distant, so I decided that I sound tell him about my plan.

"I've made a decision."

"What's that?" He sounded more alert now but he sounded wary too.

"I want to be changed before I see my dad."

"Why? I thought that you would want to see him first. After your changed you can't see him."

"In my room. You told me that it would just take some control."

"Yes, but there are rules."

"Rules! What rules!"

"Humans can't know about us."

"I know about you." I said. My voice hard.

"Only because I plan to change you."

"So I get to see him once. Then I don't ever see him again? What about my friends down there?"

"You can call them, and you don't have to leave after you see him once. You can stay for awhile, and go see everyone."

"What about Vannah? She expects us back in five months!"

"Call her. Tell her something happened."

I wouldn't be able to do that. I can't do that to her. I couldn't just talk to them on the phone. I couldn't see him for a few days then leave forever. That would be as bad as it is now. There had to be a way around the rules. I had to find it before we got there. He had said that they can't know about us, but what does 'us' mean exactly?

"When you said that humans can't know about 'us' what does that mean?"

"Vampires. They can't know that vampires are real."

"So they might be clued into some of the details?" I tried to sound like I didn't care but I was failing, miserably.

He shrugged. "Sure, as long as they don't know about the blood, I guess."

"But the speed and strength would be ok?"

"Not all of it. Some of it."

I nodded my head.

"What are you planning?"

"Nothing."

"Vivi?"

"I won't be able to do it."

"Do what?"

"Just talking to him. It'll be just like now only more and more time will go by. There has to be a way. There's always a way around the rules."

"True, but how are you going to explain how you never age, never change? If he sees you he's going to notice."

"Need to know basis. If it comes to it then I'll tell him that I do age, I just never change."

"You've thought about this." He noted.

"Yes. When you were getting the car."

"What about the speed?"

"Don't move fast." He chuckled.

"Strength?"

"Need to know." I saw a dealership and pulled in. I shut off the car and looked over at Kaleb. He was just sitting there. Suddenly he looked over at me.

"Pop the trunk." He got out of the car. When he came back he had my smaller purse, and a bag that I hadn't seen before. He reached into the other bag, pulled something out, and shoved it into my purse. He handed my purse to me. I opened it and looked inside and there was a shit load of money in there. I looked back up at Kaleb.

"How much is in here?"

"You'll be fine as long as you keep it under two hundred thousand." I gaped at him because of the amount but I also caught the 'you'll be fine'.

"Wait, your not coming?"

"I'm going to take care of this car."

"Oh, but wait, don't I have to have ID to buy a car?"

He smiled and I looked down at the seat.

"Not when you pay cash."

"What about you? Where do I pick you up?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah but I don't get what that has to do with- Oh."

"I'll be at the Burger King down the road. What do you want?"

"Um. BK double stacker."

"No sauce." I smiled.

"Yeah. No sauce." He knew me so well.

We both got out of the car and walked to the front. I hugged him and he kissed the top of my head. When I let go of him he walked around and got in the drivers seat. I turned around and walked to the building. As I opened the door I heard an engine rev and a car peel out. I rolled my eyes and let the door shut behind me. I walked over to the nearest desk and sat down.

It was probably about three minutes later when someone walked up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked and a guy in his mid-twenties was standing beside me. If I had never seen Kaleb he would have been really hot. He was smiling down at me and I was pretty sure that he was trying to figure out how old I was.

"Hello, my name is William."

"Hey."

"What can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for a car."

"What kind of car are you looking for."

"Corvette."

"If you'll walk out to the lot with me, I'll show you what we have."

I got out of the chair and followed him outside, to the far side of the building. He started explaining about the engines and handling, but I didn't care right now. I already knew which one I wanted.

"So their all the same except color."

"Yeah. They all have five disc CD changers and their all 09's except the red one, it's a 08."

"I know which one I want."

"Don't we need to talk about payments?"

"No. I want the yellow one."

"Don't you want to know how much it is?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. How much is it?"

"Ninety-thousand."

"Perfect. Where do I pay?"

"I-Inside." He stuttered. I turned and started to walk back inside, but I turned around to face William again.

"Where can I go to get the windows tinted?"

"We can do it here."

"How long will that take?"

"What do you want tinted?"

"Everything. The back and side windows, and the front windshield."

"How dark?"

"I want the two-way tint. The stuff that will let me see out but keep anything from seeing in."

"You do know that that's not legal, right?"

"Yes I know. How long will it take to get it done, and get it done right?"

"Ten minutes. Enough time for you to fill out some paperwork."

I laughed.

"Oh. I'm not going to fill out any paperwork. I'm paying cash."

William's eyes got really wide, and he just stood there.

"Can we get this over with? I have places to be."

"Sure." He opened the door for me when we got there and lead me to his desk. "I'll be right back I need to go get someone."

"Hurry, please." He left and came back about ten minutes later with a very uptight looking man.

"Miss."

"Vivi, just call me Vivi."

"Vivi, this is my boss. He has to be here if someone pays cash."

"Fine. How much for the car and the tinting."

"90,500 dollars." I opened my purse and started to pull some of the money out. "Are you sure you want to pay cash?"

"Yep. Pretty sure." I started to count the money out. When I had it all I handed it to his boss." Is that right?" I asked him. He counted it and nodded. I turned to William and held out my hand. "Is my car ready?" He handed me the keys. "Where is it?"

"Out front." William replied.

"Can I leave?" His boss nodded. I got up and walked out to my new car.

When I got to Burger King I parked and saw Kaleb sitting inside with my bags sitting in the chair next to him. I got out of the car and walked inside. All of the girls in there were drooling over him but as soon as I walked in the door, his eyes snapped up to meet mine. I walked over and sat down across from him. He slid my food over to me. We ate in silence. Just as we were about to leave he looked out into the parking lot.

"A yellow Corvette?"

"Yep."

"Ok. Are you driving?"

"Yes."

We got in the car. I started it, put it in reverse and pulled out of the spot I was in. I stopped and turned towards him.

"Do you think that I can do it?"

"Do what?"

"Keep seeing my dad, and my friends without something bad happening, and without telling them."

"You're stubborn. If you want something bad enough you always get it."

"You'll help me right?"

"For as long as you want."

"So you'll change me before I see him right?"

"Why do you want that?"

"Because I'm afraid that if I see him first, I won't want to leave for those months it will take to learn control that I'll back out of the deal. Besides seeing him again will help me learn control that much faster."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

He leaned forward and kissed my neck. He pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"To the river?"

I laughed.

"To the river!"

I threw the car into drive and flew out of the parking lot. I grabbed the phone and dialed my dads' number. I could see Kaleb looking at me.

"Just listen." He nodded.

On the third ring my dad picked up. It sounded like he had been crying.

"Hello."

"Daddy?"

"Vivi? Where are you? What where you thinking?"

"Daddy. I'm okay. But before I tell you anything, you have to promise me that you will not, under any circumstances, tell anyone but mom that I called. Not Laura, not Papaw. Nobody but mom, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise." I pushed.

"I promise."

"I'm on my way to your house. I'm about a day away, but I can't come to see you for awhile."

"Why?"

"Dad, you have to understand that next time you see me I won't look exactly the same, ok?"

"What's going to happen to you?"

"I can't tell you. Starting now we are on a need to know basis only okay?"

"Okay."

"I can't call you for awhile, but all you need to know is that I'm with a very trustworthy friend and that he'll keep me safe. I've got to go."

"I love you."

"I love you too, daddy."

I closed the phone and put it in Kaleb's hand. I knew the perfect place for me changed. I sped up and didn't plan on stopping for anything other than gas until I got there.


	8. Changing

When we got there, to the place that I would be changed, it was just getting light outside. We were standing in a tiny valley between two mountains. I used to go picnicking here. You had to walk for about an hour down the railroad tracks to get here so no one ever came here but me. I don't think that anyone even knows that it's here. The river ran down one of the mountains, pooled in the valley, then overflowed and ran under the tracks, into the river that goes by my dads and friends houses.

I walked over to the place where I used to sit beside the river. Kaleb followed me silently. I sat down on the ground and he did the same.

I looked around and studied every tree trunk that I could see trying to prepare for the fire that would soon be coursing through my veins. Kaleb had told me that there was no way to prepare for it, and that once it had started I would scream and beg for him to kill me. I didn't believe him. I knew that I could keep silent for three days. I turned to see him studying me.

"I'm ready." I told him in as strong a voice as I could.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Apparently my voice wasn't as strong as I thought it had been.

"Yes. Now just do it."

I lie back on the ground and saw that he was moving so that he was on top on me but I couldn't feel any of his weight. I could feel his breath on my neck but he didn't bite me.

"Your going to hate me for this." He whispered into my neck.

I opened my mouth to tell him that he was crazy when I felt the sting of his bite, I closed my eyes and suddenly the fire was rushing through my veins. I closed my mouth holding back a scream. I could tell that he had moved away from me but I couldn't open my mouth to tell him to come back without screaming and I knew it. I settled for forcing my eyes to open and I searched for him that way.

I found him sitting on the other side of the small river, leaning on a tree, and looking at me with so much pain in his eyes. I smiled at him weakly trying not to grimace, and turned over on my side so I could see him better. That small motion sent searing pain through my body but it also moved my arm so that my hand was lying in the river. With that small contact all of my childhood memories came back. The ones that I had been trying to keep locked away to save myself the pain. But strangely there was no pain in them now. Only relief. In fact the more I thought about them the less I felt the fire.

This time when I smiled at Kaleb it was a genuinely happy smile. He looked so surprised that there was no pain in this smile that he got up and over to sit beside. I wriggled to where my head was in his lap and I was looking up at him. I made sure that my hand stayed in the river. I could feel the fire now that I was thinking about him but it was so dull, I was almost sure that I could talk to him without wanting to scream.

But just in case, I opened my mouth slightly to see if my body still had the urge to scream. When I made sure that I wasn't going to I smiled again.

"See I told you I wouldn't scream."

"It's amazing I've never seen anyone . . . "

"And I'm not going to hate you. I chose this. You gave me a choice and I chose this."

He looked away and tried to get up but I stopped him with a hand on the back of his neck.

"Oh no you don't. You're staying right here unless you absolutely have to get up understand."

A glimmer of humor flashed in his eyes. "Do I get a choice?"

"No. You don't."

"So I have to sit here for three days?"

" . . . Well no . . . but I don't want you off somewhere sulking got that."

"Sir yes sir."

"Haha very funny."

He got serious again. "Do you think that you can do this for three days?"

"Do what?"

"Stay calm. Not scream." He winced.

"Oh. Yeah I guess as long as I keep my hand in the river. I'll be fine quit worrying."

He didn't look like he believed me but he didn't say it out loud.

For the next three days we talked and talked and talked. I learned about him and I told him all about me. He was always there with me. At night I slept like always and I suspected that while I was out he snuck off to go feed. But he was always back before I woke up so I didn't worry too much about it.

One morning when I woke up he wasn't sitting by me. In fact I couldn't even see him.

"Kaleb." I whispered knowing that he wasn't far off.

I was right. Before I could blink he was by me.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt? Are you ok?"

I started laughing. I couldn't help it.

"Yes I'm ok."

I thought about it a little and I suddenly realized the pain was back, and worse than before. The fire was burning through my veins and I couldn't figure out how I had any veins left. I bite back a scream and looked down at my arm. It was in the river up to my elbow but it didn't seem to be doing any good. I tried to focus on memories of the past but that didn't help either. I look up at Kaleb with frightened eyes.

"It's the third day." He whispered. His gaze was fixed on a tree down the bank. "It's worse on the third day."

With that he stood up and walked back to the tree he was sitting beside on the first day and just watched me.

It was getting so bad that I didn't think that I could hold back the screams any more. I knew that I had to but I didn't know how to do it. I looked down at my arm in the water and had an idea. Even if it didn't work the only down side is that I would be all wet. But I had a change of clothes in the car so it wouldn't be a problem for to long.

I decided that I was worth a shot so with a big heave I rolled over and into the river. I moved so I under as much as I could be and still have my head above the water. It helped ALOT. But it didn't make the pain go away. It just dulled it so that I could bear it.

I looked up and saw him standing on the bank. He was looking at me with so much pain in his expression. I wanted to say something to him. I tried to open my mouth but I couldn't move it. Do you know what it feels like to not be able to open your mouth? It's scary. I kept trying and eventually I got it open just a tiny bit. But in that same instant everything got blurry and went black.


	9. Waking Up

**Soooo I know its been awhile…sorry…..life happens but here we go :) **

I have no idea how long I laid there after I blacked out. I remember the sun being up then when I opened my eyes everything was so bright and the sun was setting. It was the most breathtaking sunset I had ever seen. The colors were so rich and vibrant. Melting into each other so well you couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.

It was here while I was staring up at the sky that I realized that the terrible fire that had been coursing through my veins had gone and now only resided in the back of my throat. I sat up slowly almost afraid that moving would make it spread even though somehow I knew it wouldn't.

"Hello? Kaleb?"

I jumped when I heard a voice that sounded like it was made of pure wind chimes.

"Kaleb? Are you there?"

It wasn't until then that I realized that the voice was mine. That the voice that sounded so beautiful was coming from me. But Kaleb didn't answer me.

I looked around for him, the car was still here but he was nowhere to be seen. I decided that maybe he'd just gone off to feed or something. I was still sitting in the river so I figured I should get up and get some dry clothes out of the car.

As I stood up I noticed that my body felt so light even while my clothes were drenched with water. I walked slowly to the car, excited to see what the new me looked like but I forced myself to go open the trunk and change before I looked in the mirror. I left my wet clothes in a pile on the ground behind the car and went to sit in the drivers' seat. I closed my eyes as I pulled down the visor and open the little mirror.

My eyes were blood red, my skin was flawless, and my hair was a mess but I was stunning. I had always known I was pretty and some people had even said beautiful but this was a new level of beauty that I had never seen. Not even when I saw Kaleb. I was busy admiring myself in the mirror when someone tried to open the door and knocked on the window. I turned and Kaleb was standing there looking in the car like he was trying to decide if there was anyone in there.

I remembered the tint as he knocked on the window again so I knocked back. He took a few steps back so I could get the door open and as I stepped out of the car his whole expression changed.

"Woah. Can I- Can I come closer?" He asked as he inched closer to me.

"Well yea." I said in a 'duh' way.

I didn't understand why he needed to ask that until he was right in front of me and all of a sudden my body was screaming at me to get away from him. I told myself that he wasn't here to hurt me and planted my feet and stayed right there as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Watch it." He said as I hugged him back.

I pulled away and looked at him questionly. He just chuckled.

"Vivi you're a newborn. For now you're stronger and faster than I am so you have to be careful for a little bit."

I nodded and slowly reached up and barely brushed my lips against his. He laughed again. I pulled away and glared at him.

"What is it this time?" I demanded.

He pulled me to him and kissed me the way I had kissed him the other day. When he finally pulled away he put his forehead against mine and started to run his hands up and down my arms.

"You don't have to be THAT careful. I'm not really breakable you know. So…how do you feel?"

"I feel great." I said as I beamed at him. "It doesn't hurt anymore but my throat burns a little."

He nodded slowly. "You need to feed."

"Oh." I sighed.

In truth between the fire leaving and the wonder at the new me, I had completely forgot that I would need blood to sustain me now. I pulled away slightly from Kaleb and looked off into the woods.

"I'm not feeding off a person." I whispered

"You don't have to." He whispered back. "Animals will work too."

"Oh good." I smiled up at him.

"Come on Vivi, we need to get you fed some in case someone decides to go for a mountain stroll. I saw some bears up the mountain a bit."

My eyes got wide when he said bears. He just smiled at me.

"B-But I'm so little and some of the bears around here are huge. I can't even catch a bunny let alone take down a bear and I've never hunted anything." I stammered.

"Vivi. You're a vampire now. A bear can't hurt you. And I can show you first if you'd like."

He held out his hand and I took as we started running, headed for my first ever hunt.


End file.
